Some 16 years ago, I was especially anxious about my first real speaking engagement. I had just joined a company whose training audience was primarily made up of automotive sales consultants and managers, people with whom I was intimately familiar given my several years’ automotive experience at the time. Why, then, was I perspiring profusely and washing my face in the restroom sink? After all, I knew the topic, the audience, and had been personally trained by a very talented guy, Casey McGraw. Still, here I was… nervous.

I’m sure our audience never knew what hit them when, out of the blue at the beginning of my presentation, I drew a complete blank. I became a little lightheaded, saw spots before my eyes and calmly said, “Case, don’t you usually say something here?” Without missing a beat, Casey took over and delivered the entire presentation as if we’d been practicing it that way for years.

Afterwards, as you can imagine, Casey asked me what happened. “I just froze,” I said, a little bewildered. Was it nerves? Was it clinical anxiety? Was I in the wrong profession? Well, because I’ve since had the luxury of several years to reflect, I’ll tell you what I’ve learned.

To begin, and without intending to sound too philosophical, I believe we all have gifts we’re meant to share. “What gifts?” you say. Gifts can be anything: how you deal with children, your singing voice or your smile. It’s your job to figure out what your gifts are, and that is our first point of interest:

·        Everyone has gifts to share.

“Nope, not me.” I hear that all the time, and 100% or the time, this conclusion is the result of not looking hard enough. EVERYBODY has gifts, so identify yours - write them if it helps.

It doesn’t happen often, but occasionally I’m disappointed when I encounter a celebrity who doesn’t live up to my expectations. Here’s an example: I was watching a very respected interviewer with a highly-lauded Hollywood singer / actress on a network news magazine when the interviewee reacted to her mispronounced name angrily, saying, “Sometimes I think I’m not famous at all when people pronounce my name incorrectly.”

As distasteful as that was to watch, it does serve to introduce our second point:

·        Gifts are never supposed to be a source of pride or egotism.

Our last point has to do with perception:

·        Gifts should only be judged by recipients.

Don’t be too hard on yourself or your gift. Our high school swing choir sang at a retirement home several years ago and completely messed up one of the numbers. We all felt pretty humbled and disappointed by the performance, but the seniors at the home LOVED it. Looking back, their opinion was the only one that mattered.

In 1986, I didn’t view my speaking or training as any sort of a gift or calling – it was just a good way for me to make a living. Therefore, I treated it as a job and not a career. That distinction may best explain how I’ve changed since then. Today, I do believe one of my gifts is speaking to audiences, but only on topics about which I have some passion. No passion, no speak. So, don’t be surprised if you ask me to address your gardening club about the preponderance of hosta in today’s landscaping design, I may politely decline. Not because I don’t have any hosta in my flowerbeds (I do), but because I don’t really feel any passion for them. Now, my burning bushes, on the other hand…

People ask me all the time, “Don’t you get nervous speaking in front of hundreds of people?” Not anymore. I get excited, of course, just not nervous. This, I believe, is where the passion comes in. If I can be passionate about a topic in which I carry some expertise and deliver one or two actionable ideas to the listener (or viewer or reader), I believe I’ve done my job in sharing my gift. Plus, for the most part, audiences WANT speakers to do well – they’re cheering us on! – so there is no reason to be nervous.

Let’s review:

Finally, allow me to relate something I identified only after my brother, Bruce, a very talented singer, pointed it out to me. He had just completed a church solo that was extraordinarily technical and stunningly well-delivered, and when I asked him how he could bear to stand in front of all those people and sing like it was the easiest thing in the world (the guy sang at his own wedding). He calmly stated that he tells himself he can perform the piece as well as anyone because he has confidence in his singing ability (read “his gift”). This may sound like a fine line between pride and confidence, but in reality, the two are completely different. Think about it like this: confidence enhances your delivery whereas pride masks your true ability. Be confident in your gifts and start sharing!

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